How well do you know yourself?
What does it mean to know your identity, value and worth? Essentially, I like to think of the answer to this question in this way. Identity is how you see your true self at your core, not how others see you. Because people don’t know your core; you do. Value is how you treat yourself first, not how others treat you first. If you based your value on how others treat you, which can be a slippery slope, you give them too much power or influence over you. Worth is how you carry yourself, not how others carry you. People will carry you to mental and emotional spaces that jeopardize your identity and worth. If you do not know your identity, value and worth, you risk being vulnerable to toxic, negative behaviors of people and may find yourself in patterns of unhealthy relationships. When you know your identity, value and worth, you won’t allow behaviors from others that hurt you, disrespect you, belittle you and minimize you. You are able to set standards and say no to those behaviors. Yes, I am talking about boundaries which is where you end and where another person begins (more details on this in another blog). When you see, treat, and carry yourself according to your own authenticity, you send a message to people that they cannot … (you fill in the blank). We train people how to treat us.
There’s only one you, so take care of yourself!
Shanda Y. Smith, PhD., LMFT